Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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