so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
