I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize