Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
