So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
