that's an acceptable place to lick
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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