A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
