know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
