Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
