you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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