Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
