he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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