When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
