I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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