At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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