he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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