i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
