were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
