I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
