that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
