there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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