My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
