Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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