i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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