The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
