Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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