i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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