if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
