If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
