In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
