Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
