I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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