Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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