I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
