C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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