I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
