i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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