it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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