I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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