what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
