Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
