I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
