she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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