im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
