i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize