chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
