I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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