end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize