Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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