i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
