My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
