i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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