It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
