just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
