You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
