forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and i looked up. we had an audience...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
