When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
