he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize