If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
