Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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