this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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